My heart was pricked today. I was able to attend a tri-stake Relief Society conference. Sister Beck and Sister Thompson spoke to us...no, not Julie Beck and Barbara Thompson of the General Relief Society Presidency, but a Sister Marsha Beck and Sister Becky Thompson of the General Board.
Honestly, I don't think having Julie and Barbara there would have made it any better though. It was truly a marvelous conference and the spirit was tangible.
I related so well to Sister Beck's talk about being a young mother and being 'down in the weeds of keeping track of daily things'. She said she was going along in life feeling like she was doing a pretty good job of doing what she needed to be doing and then she had an experience that changed things. She was praying one morning and the words came to her mind that 'she needed to spend her time in more meaningful and purposeful activity'. That was when the pin touched my heart. Something very similar has been going through my head for months. I need to be spending more quality time with my sweet children. I need to be more engrossed in my scripture study. I need to ponder more. I need to put aside my worldly ways and pay close attention to that with which the Lord has entrusted me. This is precious time we have here on earth and I'm afraid I'm wasting it away to a degree. I'm not totally down on myself and saying that I never do anything worth while but I do recognize, and have felt the spirit nudging me, that there is definitely room for improvement.
Does this mean I have to say farewell to Pinterest, or to many of the other things that I enjoy doing with my free time? No, I don't think so, but I need to do a better job of keeping them in check and really only do them during my free time (when is a mother's free time by the way?)
Sister Thompson spoke about JOY. She was able to weave in some wonderful stories of Visiting Teaching with this topic. One of these stories was from the book "Daughters in My Kingdom" on page 114. You just never know when you might be making a difference even though your efforts feel fruitless. My goodness, I came away with such a desire to minister more to the sisters I visit.
Both talks were incredible and I felt like I had feasted at a spiritual banquet.
I was able to ponder and reflect on some of the these things as I held a sleeping Ben in my arms again after another bad seizure tonight. I love these sweet opportunities I have with him. Although I can't stand what leads up to them, after the seizure is over, when he falls asleep in my arms and I take him off to my bedroom and I'm able to cuddle and hold him and look upon his precious face my heart is soft and I cherish the time. I wonder as he grows older and bigger if I'll be able to do the same thing...I hope so. I hope size won't hinder these tender moments with him.
As I held him this evening, I recommitted to treasure each moment and be the mother that I know I need to be....for each of my beautiful children...be the wife I need to be for my amazing husband. I recommitted to be involved in more meaningful and purposeful activities. I don't ever want to have any regrets, especially regarding my family.